2nd Go Around: July 2013

Friday, July 26, 2013

12 weeks and counting

The last 12 weeks of my life have been the best that I've ever experienced. I never knew that I would love motherhood so much, especially since I was the one that everyone thought would never have children. I didn't really think I would ever have kids either because for a long I didn't think I would be with Cory. I only saw myself having babies with Cory -- which I'm really glad I did!
**Just so my friends know, I haven't spanked Oaks yet.

12 weeks ago I began to look at life completely different. Everything is scary now, every cough, sneeze, or gag. I see myself different as a person who was able to create such a miracle and grow something so tiny in my body. (How do people not believe in God?) I no longer see Cory as just my husband but a father to our precious child. Our relationship has also changed since Oaks has been here, I truly feel that our house is now full of love. I heard from other parents about their middle of the night fights, the issues that begin when you have a newborn and you are sleep deprived - thankfully, we have become even more patient and helpful with each other. I've only wanted to knock him out a few ~~hundred~~ times.

During the past 12 weeks I have prayed for pee, poop, burps, farts, and weight gain. I have been peed on, pooped on***, and spit up on. I have changed a lot of diapers, given many baths, changed 1000's of outfits, and ever so carefully cut his little fingernails. I have had to hold by baby while they took his blood not once but twice. I had to help strap him in a chest xray and watch my sweet baby scream. Cory had to hold his tiny little hands just the other day as he got his shots, which I think hurt me way worse than they hurt him. We have laughed together and cried together.

During the past 12 weeks milk has been one of the most important thing on my mind. How much milk do I have the refrigerator, how much did I pump this last time, do I have enough milk for his bottles for school...... milk, Milk, MILK! I have become pretty obsessed with breastfeeding but I will save all of that for another post.

The past 12 weeks have been far beyond amazing. Every morning I'm so anxious for Oaks to wake up so I can see him, talk to him, and get him to smile and laugh. Last week I got to daycare and he was crying and when I took him from his teacher, he stopped. That was a proud Mom moment and I really like those. I never really imagined that I could be so happy, be so in love, and be so content with how my life is now.

Praise the Lord for his Blessings!

***This week Oaks was constipated and a little fussy. I took a bath with him, which I know one day he will hate me for but who cares, I'm in charge now. Anyway, he was playing and loving his bath and then boom - poop! Yes, poop in the water that I was in.... and I didn't even get upset. I was so excited he finally pooped that I didn't care I was bathing in feces. Needless to say, we got out, I took a shower to rinse it off and cleaned the bathtub but I was one happy Mom for just being pooped on.

Friday, July 12, 2013

For those days

I read this today and thought that I had to share. I definitely need to remember number 9 and 10. My house will probably never be as clean as it was before I had a baby and my body will never look like it did before. My stretch marks represent the pain, struggle and don't forget swelling that I endured during my pregnancy with Oaks -- which was all worth it.

For the days we are running on empty. For the days we just don't think we have it in us to read one more story, play one more game of Uno, wash one more round of sheets. For the days when we think everyone else has it together. For the days we're sure anyone else would do this job better.

For those days. You know the ones.

Repeat after me:

1. I shall not judge my house, my kid's summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest's standards.
2. I shall not measure what I've accomplished today by the loads of unfolded laundry but by the assurance of deep love I've tickled into my kids.
3. I shall say yes to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we're building.
4. I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they're already in their pajamas.
5. I shall not compare myself to other mothers but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.
6. I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
7. I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.
8. I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.
9. I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
10. I shall promise to love this body that bore these three children out loud, especially in front of my daughter.
11. I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.
12. I shall do my best to admit to my people my unfine moments.
13. I shall say sorry when sorry is necessary.
14. I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children's forgiveness.
15. I shall make space in my grown-up world for goofball moments with my kids.
16. I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.
17. I shall model kind words to kids and grown-ups alike.
18. I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.
19. I shall always make time to encourage new moms.
20. I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they'll all be in college.

... with love from one tired mother to another.

Amen.